When I saw the first half of the movie I couldn't help but see myself in bobby. Admittedly my family is Quite the picture of perfect closeness that the Griffith's are pictured as. When I saw this though, I could relate to the strain Bobby felt, wanting to share his 'Real' or Personal self with his family, but constantly ducking behind masks for fear of their rejection.
At this point in my own life, I have spent much time in the same sort of state, Constantly hiding from my family or anyone connected to them, anything they might disapprove of,
"You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it."Consequently, I am now attempting to 'find my true self'.
(V For Vendetta)
As the story progresses through Bobby's secret being revealed, I watched as the plot played out what has perhaps been the greater fear of mine, as Bobby's family (His mother mostly) begin to try and 'heal' him. In effect his family ends up Smothering him by constantly forcing scriptures and prayer on him, judging his every move, even things they never cared about or noticed before become scrutinized, and anything they view as 'Gay Behavior' is condemned.
This brings home an aspect of the reason I'm hoping to be able to move out of my parents house soon. I've gone through many various ideas of places to go. I would quite honestly like to have the experience of living somewhere for college, but I haven't come up with any place in particular that I'd like to go for a degree. It's also hard now because I've built such relationships here, I really think it would be difficult to leave now.
Although I say all this as if it's been one big revelation, I've been contemplating things like this for some time. as have others. Another Quite significant moment in this personal reflection/search I've been doing, was watching the GLEE Episode "Grilled Cheesus" I know it was all about Kirk and his crisis with God because he's gay, however, that part passed over me without much strong connection. It was actually this little moment with Sue and her sister that really caught me.
Sue: "Do you believe in god Jeanie?"
Jean: "Do you?"
Sue: "No. I don't."
Jean: "Why not?"
Sue: "When we were little girls, you were Perfect in my eyes. And then I saw the world be cruel to you."
Jean: "God never makes mistakes.. That's what I believe."
That moment almost brought me to tears, realizing: no one had ever said that to me. and much like saying "try" "allows failure to be an option", not hearing affirmation like that "allows the option of you as a mistake."
Anyway, watching both of these has Really made me think a Lot about Many things, and I'd never be able to type them all here. However I encourage you to watch the film yourself, if you'd like to see into these life experiences, learning about one's self, and finding faith. As always please comment!
PUMA
